end of one year, start of another

So its the end of 2011. Anyone else felt like it's flown in? Before I start this is gonna be one of those blogs that you can't sum up if you get my drift. Basiclly, I started writing this blog in the hope that it would help my stammer. I did aim to write one a week, but that kinda went down the hole a bit. So I've updated every so often, telling you lovely people how I've been doing, how the stammers treating me blah de blah de blah.
So basiclly, 31st December, I was on my way back from France. (Wasn't exactly the best hogmonay I can tell you) I had a stammer, pretty bad. Wasn't as confident as what I am now. This blog, the fact that people have listened to my rants and useless information has been great. After I finished school, I felt diffrent. It was like, the daft wee boy had gone. Yeah, theres times I still act like a wee boy (I mean if Mr Men's on I'll watch it :P) I was begining to notice a diffrence in the way that (most) folk treated me. Then I noticed the biggest diffrence of all when I started college, I wasn't stammering as much. Yeah I still do stammer from time to time, but not as much. One of the folk in my class said that folk notice when I stammer, but no one's really fussed about it. If I stammer, I stammer, no one's gonna rush me and interupt me. Thats the great thing. No one does interupt me now. Ok there's been times when someone's phoned, not given me the time to speak and I've went mental at them. (hung up and didn't phone back after that) But everythings going good now. I'm in college, passing it so far. I'm more confindent, I've got an amazing girlfriend, who I love more than anything :) n life's just life. As one of my lecturers said, I went through a process of going inwards, and not talking as much, which helped lead to my stammer. And now, I'm coming out my shell, showing people who I actually am.  And this is helping me stammer less.
So thanks to those of you who follow this, thanks to my family and friends, thanks to emma and her family (who have put up with seeing me a hell of a lot :p) and just everyone who's helped me come out my shell. It really means a lot. :)
So all I can really say now is that you have a happy safe and brilliant 2012, and if the world does end, well I'll see you all in hell anyway cos thats where I'm going :P

long time no blog me thinks

Hello emm.... dear people who decide to follow. Unless you've emigrated somewhere warmer (in which case I'll join you :P)
Hows things? Good? Bad? In the middle?
Im good :) College is going great (which I think is a good sign) One thing I've noticed is my confidence has went up and its had an effect on my stammer. I'm not stammering as much, sometimes when I meet new people, I dont stammer at all. They dont even know I stammer until I tell them its been a pain in the ass for 10 years. I'm pretty impressed. Yeah I'll have good days and bad days. But I think, if people I know who have had stammers have been able to not stammer at all, why wouldn't it be possible for me to be same. Just have to see wont we then? :)

college

Well I stated college this week. WOOO :D But the stammers bugging me more than usual :/ perhaps its just the fact I'm in a new place and I'm meeting new people. The folk have been great tbh. They've gave me the time it takes for me to say what I have to say. They dont sit and slag me off or anything. Which is great. Better than school. Least I dont have the wideos who think they're all it slagging me off. (something I wont miss from school)
Aint really much else to say just now. Just thought I'd update you all on college. So until next time, cya

hellooo

aint said much in a while. I know, I've not had a good enough excuse since the end of May. Things are looking good tbh. I've been stammering, which in my opinion has been a good thing. Guess it gives me a chance to work on my speech. The other day i was going to a club I volunteer at. On the train, the conductor comes up just before I get off. Ding ding ding...pressure (normally is for me tbh) So I asked for a return n told him where I was going from/to etc. But I couldnt say the stop I was getting off at. The guy was patient, didnt hurry me along or anything (must be one of the few conductors who actually like me) :p. Anyway, I finally managed to say where I was going and after it, I knew I had worked. I dont know what it was, I just felt like I had put more work into it. Mabye just my imagination.
The phone situation...I managed to talk on the phone to someone I dont know last night. A few weeks ago, I had hassle coming back up from Newcastle on the train. So I put in a complaint and they phoned me to ask a couple of questions. I did stammer when on the phone, but the best part was, I was stopping, calming down and starting back up again, a little slower.  Something I should try more on the phone, especially with folk I dont know.
Anyway, thats me for just now. Promise I'll blog a bit more often now.

music and stammering

Well what can we say? Turns out that universities are run by the rich who want more more and guess what...more. More power, more wealth Strathclyde uni are proposing cuts, which would see courses in the faculty of humanities and social sciences affected. One of these courses, which has already been axed and the promised replacement course is not being brought in. Music's really helped me with my stammer. Its helped me through the hard times. When I've been the victim of taunts and abuse by mindless and immature bullies, I've always been able to turn to my music. It's something I've been able to do that the bullies have no idea whatsoever about. Its also helped with my breathing. Ive been able to breath better, which in turn has helped my air control. This in turn has heled my stammer as I've been so used to controling my breathing whilst playing, that Im used to doing it.
How many people at the age of 10 know the course they want to do, and know the university that does that course. Seriously, Strathclyde uni are aiming to turn into a science based uni. All be it, science is important, but no experement managed to help me with my stammer. Music has. Its been there. Science has not found a cure for stammering (unfortunatly) but music has been one of the greatest supports I have.
Perhaps the powers that be in the university will see that music, along with the other courses, which are very importabt, are all extremely important in their own right.

where from here

Right I promised you a second blog since I aint done one in ages. Theres still that glass of beer sitting here by my side :) mmmmmmmmmmmm :P
Anyway, next week's my last day of school...EVER! Kinda scarey, thats 13 years of my life, 13 years of making and losing (but mainly making and keeping) friends. A period, where my speech started off well, but went downhill after a time, but gradully sorted itself out.
So, after the summer I'm going to college (woo). Im gonna meet new folk, hopefully as great as the folk I know just now. But I have to admit, I'm worried a little. I know I dont need to be, but I still am. Worried that my stammer would go back downhill again. I've got all the advice, yeah, and I know how to use all the tips. I guess it'll just be a case of waiting and seeing.
Sorry this has been a bit of an emotional blog. Gotta admit, I will miss everyone. So all the friends that I've made over the past 13 years, thanks for deciding to become friends with a headcase like me :D Thanks for not judging me because of my stammer. Thanks for listening to what I want to say. For giving me the time that I need to say what I want to say. To say my piece. Honestly gonna miss all of you. In all honesty, I hope we all keep in touch. It would be great to talk to you. And you've all been a part of my crazy journey so far, and I'd kinda like you to remain part of it :)

breathing

Right, Im thinking of doing a couple of blogs tonight. Theres a glass of beer sitting next to me and I intend on drinking it :P
Anyway, weird sorta title for a blog. But, a few weeks ago, I was in my lesson at school. The teacher gave me advice on how to improve my breathing when Im playing. So, the next few days, I really worked on my breathing. I focused on it when I was playing, when I was singing, and most likely when I was talking (which I didnt really notice)
So, by the next week, I had noticed something diffrent. Something diffrent about the way I was talking. Yeah, my stammer was still there, but it wasnt as prominent. I WAS stammering, but it was LESS. Pretty cool hey. I was pretty pleased. When I told my teacher, he was impressed as well :) If theres a little diffrence in one week, imagine the diffrence there would be over a period of time after constantly working on my breathing.
I've always wanted to combat my stammer. To control it, and hopefully reach a stage where my stammer isnt noticable. Never no, mabye that will happen :)